9th Mar 2015 07:00am
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Eurovision 2015

Ahh, booze, cheese and politics... no, not the forthcoming general election, but Eurovision - the yearly singing competition for countries within Europe (and Israel ... and Cyprus ... and Armenia ... and Morocco ... and Australia.)

Yes, it's coming to that time in the year, where countries put aside their political differences (that is until the voting lines open) and send in their country's karaoke champions to battle it out in an evening filled with the glitz, gla-*chuckles*-mour, talen-*chuckles*-t ... ok, ok, I'll stop.

So the entry for the United Kingdom was revealed the other day, a song titled "Still In Love With You" by a duo called "Electro Velvet" (who consist of Bianca Nicholas [who was from the BBC's The Voice last year, and had a little part in the 1999 film, Sleepy Hollow, too (loved that film)] and Alex Larke [a Mick Jagger impersonator in a group called - bare with - The Rollin' Clones, LOL). And there's a lot of mixed reviews about it. Some people think it's crap and others think it's brilliant. I'm on the side of brilliant for this. It's a very catchy and simple song.

Some people are moaning because it's being marketed as "modern", but they say it isn't "modern". It's got the fun bumpy-bumpy beaty thingy in it - makes my leg tap. Much better than the usual crappy "ballad"/"let's sing about some shitty deep message" type of stuff we've had previously from 60-a-day-husky-bloke-sounding Bonnie Tyler, Daz "I can launch a career out of this" Sampson or that dreary wet flannel Engelbert Humpmydick.

Also it's slightly cheesy too, and correct me if I'm wrong, but Europe bloody LOVES their cheese! (Ok, obviously Scooch didn't do us any favours, but it was an absolutely shit song *sings* we're flying the flag *sings*)

There's been various comparisons of it to "Doop" by, well erm, Doop - which, if my memory serves me right, stayed at Number 1 here in the United Kingdom for three weeks in 1994. And thinking about it from a more recent time, the bloke singing, Alex Larke (whose sister was the one that was harrassed by her ex-boyfriend, comedian Justin Lee Collins [*] - small world this whole entertainment industry is isn't it?), sounds more like Mika in his song "Big Girl (You Are Beautiful)", the "Walks in to the room. Feels like a big balloon. I said, Hey girls, you are beautiful" bit.

But, whether you too like it or you hate it, you've just got to still remember that this being the Eurovision, for us anyway, it's all just a bit of fun (albeit a career killer too - if you have/had one in the first place). Some countries though do take it a tad bit too serious... oh well.

On a final note, I think we'll do fairly well this year, we won't win (sorry Electro Velvet), but I'd say we'd be definitely in the Top 15, well, that's if everything sounds alright on the night.

23rd May 2015 ... BBC One ... 8pm. (Honey! Clear the diary, unplug the phone, and stock up on the Lambrini and Jńger!!)


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