24th Oct 2018 06:00pm
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Saturday, it is the weekend so not much in the way of groups now. I woke up pretty much as the alarm went off this morning, so was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed at 7am. Had the morning meeting, a few fags and coffees and breakfast.

After breakfast we headed to the Centre for the first of two groups. The first consisted of individually picking out a random piece of laminated paper with a word on it from an envelope and then explain what it means to/for us, then we repeated this another two times and when we all had three random words, they would pretty much 'mystically' create a relatable sentence that applies to us. My words were: Belief, Sanity, and Challenge - which I can interpret as "This recovery process is a challenge and to continue onwards through this challenge, I need to keep a sane mental state and believe in myself".

After that session, we had a Thoughts and Feelings session. As a member of staff was present (and participated) it lasted longer and was a bit more in depth than it normal is, then when we finished, the words from the staff members mouth were mentioned:

"This is your last ever group with us now Dale, isn't it? So why don't we go around the room and have everyone say something positive about you?"

And so they all did, how on Earth I kept myself together with all these nice words, compliments, and well wishes being fired at me, I have no idea, but I was sat smiling so much my cheeks were hurting. The determination, effort, thought, confidence, humour, likeability, and general improvement that they all mentioned about was so nice to hear about.

I have been asked by the staff to come see them again sometime soon - I did say "I will, but it will be for other good reasons, and not because I relapsed." Haha. I then got a badge that I have put on my coat, and I have signed my name on the wall in the kitchen (don't worry, it's allowed on one of the walls, I'm not a vandal).

We returned back to the house for lunch - chicken breast, chips and beans - then after lunch we went for a walk down the seafront as the motorbike/buggy/quad show thing is on. We had a glance in from the side of the event as there was no way we were going to pay. Then we all had a stroll up the beach, under the pier (a trigger point), then stopped on the rocks (another trigger point) near the exit slope opposite Wetherspoon (another trigger point), then walked past another haunt of mine (so yet another trigger point), and d'you know what? Even though it was sunny, crowded and people were walking past me holding cold pints of cider in their hands - along with stopping or passing my trigger points - I did not have any urge to want or need a drink. Now rewind 14 days back and that would've been a totally different case. So I'm extremely proud of myself.

Last full day tomorrow, and I'm starting to get a bit sad that after 9am on Monday [Day 15], I would have to say 'goodbye' to the others.

[ « Day 12 - Day 14 » ]


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