24th Oct 2018 05:39pm
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Another day waking up sober and without any withdrawal symptoms, no problems sleeping and feeling really greatful of the chance I have been given to make myself so much better.

It is Wednesday, so i will be calling The Mother later on. There is still a lot of uncertainty regarding the whole move malarkey and also what happens when I leave, some things are in place but not really set in stone. I think we're just going with the scenario that I will be in Weston-super-Mare, so a day programme will be what I will end up going on to cometh Monday.

The day started with an insightful group at the Centre around the subject of perception, now normally I would think that was just "how you see/judge people", but my goodness it was a hell of a lot bigger than that. Following that, we spoke about "isms", which we all know about the usual 'mainstream' ones (sexism, racism, ageism, etc.), but I was astonished to find that there was a list of 245 of them.

After that session, we returned to the house for lunch, then had a visit from a recovering alcoholic who spoke to us all about his experiences whilst he was on the booze. Some things that he mentioned I did end up relating to. Following that visit we were all taken out for a walk to the seafront to have a coffee, I went posh and had a mocha.

Back at the house after the mocha and walk, and as it's Wednesday, it's mainly a nice chilled out day. Some others are doing their Step work, some are relaxing to a movie (Gone In 60 Seconds, I believe), and I'm just pottering about. Dinner followed, "big soup" as one of the others mentioned it as.

Evening and I have spoken to The Mother and let her know how things are seeming to pan out with regards to what happens after I leave on Monday (I still can't believe how quick the time has gone, and tonight is my last Librium tablet too). It was nice to speak to her and get some positivity from her too.

Now I'm just relaxing with a few coffees. I just need to watch how much coffee I'm drinking though as my gut isn't really enjoying the barrage it's getting of it, I might need to do a coffee-water-water-coffee-water-water etc. type of thing.

I have slowly started to notice however that I am getting a bit rattled with one other within the establishment, their persona seems too falsey put on and I'm sure I'm not the only one that has noticed it either, it's like they're trying too hard to fit in. Oh well, I'll let it slide, no point getting worked up over it.

Well, it's creeping towards the time for my last Librium, and have also filled out my last tobacco order form too. As weird as it sounds, I don't want to leave here... actually, after I've fully done my recovery programme, there's no harm in giving back by becoming a staff member or something like that. What's better in a job? Someone that has read things from a book or someone that has actually been there/done that? All staff throughout this journey (at all the places I've been) have all been the latter, which is why they can relate and do their job so amazingly.

Ooo, it's almost time for a nightly munch (the 'Jolly Trolley', don't ask, it's a plate with cake on it).

I have just taken my last Librium and the CD box has been torn up and destroyed. That's me officially off that medication, and onwards with just the other tablets I'm being given.

For now though, it's a good night and good blessings to each and every one of you. Good night.

[ « Day 9 - Day 11 » ]

 

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