19th Jun 2014 12:10pm
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Shove Your Unit System Up Your Arse UKCMO

We've all started to get used to being pretty much told what we can and can't do in the United Kingdom in relation to our own choices during leisure time - from kids in the playground no longer being able to buy chocolate or high-sugar foods from the tuck shop, to being told (even though the Government highly publicised it as an amazing thing a few decades ago) that smoking is bad and should be pretty much outlawed.

However one grumble I have is with alcohol. Now I have a strong stomach for alcohol (not so much with top-shelf, but mainly lagers and ciders) and hate seeing the shit that's put on the sides of bottles and cans these days of us being given guidelines from the so called "UK Chief Medical Officers" about how much we should be drinking. Their "guideline" (which has actually NEVER been researched, they all just basically sat in a room and thought of a couple of numbers and shoved them out - fact) for adult men is 3-4 units daily (so we'll say 28 units a week maximum), well this morning I took a bit of time to calculate how much I have drank in the past 2 and a half weeks (17 days) - and other than violently shaking for hours yesterday (which I'm putting down to the immense heat down here, which I don't fair with naturally anyways), I am still feeling absolutely fine, conscious and able to do things in a totally normal way as if I was pure sober... no one can tell at all, unless I was to perhaps have a blood test, to which the doctor would probably say to me "why aren't you dead?"

In the past 17 days I have drank:
1 x Carling (Pint)
1 x Hooch (500ml Bottle)
1 x [Tesco] Cider (2 litre Bottle)
1 x Frosty Jacks (3 litre Bottle)
3 x Diamond White (2 litre Bottle)
8 x White Strike (2 litre Bottle)
27 x Thatchers Gold (Pint)

And I have worked it all out, that the total of that, in UK Units is... *drum roll* ... ... ... ... 274.5 UK Units, equating to 16.1 UK Units a day (about 7 and a half pints of Carling a day). Not bad going eh? So, just a note for you all... NEVER listen to what these shitty guidelines and stuff show.

Go wild(-ish), enjoy yourself!


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